inahaze

I've told dear husband that I'm leaving two times this week when he was off work. He sent me a message trying to pin everything on me and instead of me getting angry I sent a very heartfelt and simplictic response. He still wants to talk, so be it.

Yeah right, today is his first day off work and what's he do? He runs off with his friends to play basketball and who knows what else, he left at 1:30 and won't be back until at least 10 by his own acknowledgement.

Good grief, for someone who supposedly wants to talk things over to make sure that I'm really leaving, it's such a load of BS. If he were so worried he would of told them no and came here to talk.

He's just playing with my head like always, but at leaset I recognize this time. I guess he figures I'll let it go again and pretend like nothing ever happened. He says he loves me still and tries to kiss me good bye whenever he leaves, but his actions are and always have been so much louder.

It's just a prime example of not being able to blame the alcohol for everything that's going on in his head. I used to pin all the bad behavior on his drinking, reality has proven that it's just him. I don't know if he realizes the impact he has on other people that care about him (and believe me I do care about him still which is why everything is so hard) or if knows and just doesn't care.

Good news is that the house is mine today and tonight just like almost every other day.