For the first time in years, I'm opening all the doors of my life. I'm telling family and friends what really has been going on. For some the response has been, "Oh my gosh! I had no clue."
I kept the secret. My husband was a binge drinking alcoholic. He was high functioning - most around him wouldn't have had a clue. I didn't want to tarnish his image, particularly to close family and friends... but they already knew what I didn't want to face. He was drinking to the point of losing control. It had started to ruin family events. And most recently, it turned physical. My personal safety meant I needed to let the secret out
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I could have written this! My H is a high functioning A too (binges and drank nightly). I've been getting a lot of the "omg I had no idea". NO ONE (other than his family who I told a while back) has had a clue.
It used to anger me that no one could see how he was. I'd be miserable at gatherings bc he'd drink to excess, I'd be embarassed at how different his personality was (silent brooding to mr funny life of the party) and he'd tell me I was no fun. And of course no one ever saw the emotional and verbal abuse. Even when it got physical this fall his family made excuses and blamed me.
Oh and AH thinks that the word alcoholic should never be uttered if our kids are within earshot... it's a secret. Yeah right. That's why when our now 5 yr old was 3 she was calling soda cans beer.