Two steps forward, one back, BobbyJ. It's ok - we all fall off the wagon sometimes.
After a week of acrimony and more threats of divorce, I had the most amazing conversation with my RAH last night. It was kind of like a mutual surrender, putting down the weapons, and being honest for the first time in a long time. I can't point to one particular thing that sparked that - it just happened. I consider that a miracle.
I also consider his sobriety - going on 120 days now - as the biggest miracle of all. Second to that is the loss of my desire to ask him if he's drinking. I just quit doing that and quit caring. It is what it is.