I wrote some of this letter in the section of WHAT IS RECOVERY, for this reason:
Yes, I am in Alanon and it has helped me tremendously! Over the past 2 weeks, Ive had alot of internal healing, serenity and beginning to think more clearly (coming out of the fog).
But I would say, what has helped me alot also, is understanding the alcoholic.
Example: What makes them tick, Why do they do or say those things, What is recovery for them, Why do they run, etc..
Kind of like "Hands On Learning"
I guess thats why I asked those questions, because I dont understand why he felt he needed to move or why relapse was no big deal or why he cant find time for AA classes.
It has helped me, not buy all of his excuses....
For me learning the behaviors of an alcoholic, has helped me detach and has helped me lay down some of my anger, with the understanding his behaviors and ways of thinking are not rational. It has also helped me undertand, that Im not going crazy (ANYMORE)
He is working 16 hour days, and I realize those are long days, but it has helped me understand from your post on how important those things are to his recovery.
Which in turn, has helped me understand my feelings & has helped me set some pretty big boundaries for myself, if he decides to move home tomorrow.
Never being raised in that enviroment, I was clueless to what was going on in my life/marriage. Maybe, If I would have been educated on the diesase & the damage that it does to people, familys and myself, I would have had some type of warnings signs and would of had time to run earlier in the game.
I guess I had the dumb blonde syndrome, and thought it was just too many simple cocktails or he had a bad day...
*** TODAYS UPDATE ***
A phone call tonight from RAH that didnt go too well.
I havent asked him in weeks if has drank. So tonight I did.
BOOM! Wrong- Question to ask, I guess.
RAH Reply:
"I WORK ALL THE TIME, WHEN DO I HAVE TIME TO DRINK" There you go again, your never gonna let it drop are you??? I only have 1 day off and Im very tired and dont need to hear your negative comments!!! If I had time I would go to AA, but I work all the time and only have 1 day off, so when do you think I should go???? Tell me that one.........
Me..Ugggg
Next sentance: If I send you money, would you fly here and visit me? I miss you.
Me..Ugggg
Me....Mixed Feelings after tonight, and Im sad, I was doing so good...
Guess, I was hoping for another miracle, his recovery....