Originally Posted by wanttobehealthy

After reading some of the recent posts, I just want to say that as much as we are encouraged to understand that A is a disease and to understand/not take the A's behavior personally etc... BPD and NPD are no more choices than A is- PD's are a disease/a mental illness. It's not a choice someone makes. I think we'd do well to apply the same thought process we apply to A's behavior and the disease's impact on a person to PD's...

Someone with active A behaves much like a Borderline- everything is someone else's fault, always justified in behaving how they behave... The difference is that the A is rationalizing and the person with BPD TRULY believes what they are saying. If they FEEL something is is a FACT.

I work with 2 students with BPD, have a mother with BPD and a H with possible BPD and I feel empathy for them bc their disease is just that-- a disease. It is a mental illness that is not a choice they bring on themselves and I'd just caution us here to not get overly judgemental about those with BPD or NPD just as we are not to get overly judgemental about A.

The way that persons with PD's treat others is awful, no doubt. But so is the treatment that A's dish out. The "solution" is to deal with someone with a PD the same way we deal with A's. Detach, worry about ourselves. When the discomfort a PD'd person or A feels is greater than their fear of changing or questioning their beliefs, that's when they will seek help.

A person with a PD is no more or less likely to change than is an A. At least that's my understanding from dealing with therapists working with my students, belonging to a message board for those living with someone with PD etc...

I'm not saying excuse the behavior of those with PD, but maybe we shouldn't be overly harsh....