passionfruit

I was thinking almost the same thing earlier. You seem very angry, Summerpeach.

I completely understand it. I was there when I came here and occasionally still get that way.

I don't think it is fair to call the other woman names. She is most likely prey to him just like you were.

No we are not victims, in the end; but the beginning certainly is a different story. We each have to find the right path for us out.

My anger simply held me back from moving on and taking care of myself.

On another note, I found this interesting.

Borderlines are underdeveloped emotionally, and you must literally think of them like little kids in adult bodies. Just as you'd discipline a young child by teaching them acceptable vs unacceptable behaviors and setting firm limits and boundaries, you have to be willing to do this with a Borderline. It's the only hope you have, of attaining any harmony or peace in this relationship. In essence, if this individual doesn't respect you, they can't want you. Alas, learning how to assert, and take better care of yourself is essential.

There were times when I reacted without thinking to my AH like I would my children.

One time I told him in public while he was drinking to "Sit down and don't move until I am ready." He did it. I then began to treat him as a child. Just aggravated the situation. He said we were vying for control of the relationship. He was right.Thi

This one got me also:
Borderlines are intoxicated by The Chase--not the capture. The moment they sense you're hopelessly hooked, they lose interest, and their distancing and acting-out behaviors begin.

My AH exactly: Wanted me as long as he didn't have me. When he had me, I was no fun any more.

Even if you're the one who's walked away, you doubt your decision, because it feels so lousy being separated from him or her!

Exactly how I feel.

anyhoo...thanks for the link.