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Old 03-10-2011, 08:13 AM
  # 5 (permalink)  
StarCat
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Join Date: Dec 2010
Posts: 1,766
No, and I am not holding out hoping.
To be honest, at this point, I am hoping he doesn't, because he has already broken the "no contact" too many times, and used insincere apologies to pull me back too many times.
I hope he finds sobriety, and works on correcting his abusive behaviors, and sincerely completes his 12 steps... but at this point I do feel that him trying to contact me for any reason would cause more harm than good.

That said, I forgave him anyway. He is a sick man, with way too many worries on his plate than just what he put me through.
I forgave him for my own sake, so that I can move on.
I like to think I also forgave him for the sake of that good sober non-abusive man hidden inside him somewhere, that may never see the light of day again, in the hope that forgiveness will make it easier for him to finally find the help that he needs, rather than use perceived hatred as another reason to keep reaching for the alcohol and hiding behind the abuse.

That said, forgiving him has helped me to let go of him, and let what happens happens, however he decides his own future.
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