I used to get home from work, crack open my first bottle of wine for the night and drink and smoke until I passed out...I might read without actually absorbing the information, I might eat something junky. I'd let the dogs take care of themselves in the yard and get annoyed if they wanted my attention. On weekends I'd be lucky to hold off on the drinking until after noon. Empty bottles lined my counters and piles of cigarette butts filled my patio. My spare bedroom was supposed to be my art studio but it had become a repository of lost dreams and talent.
When I got sober I didn't have a clue what to do with my time. I went to bed early,
really early and slept a lot! I surfed the internet and found SR and poured vast amounts of time into the place. I did not want to drink but I was clueless what else to do. I did not know what, if anything, I wanted out of life, even my art. The alcohol was gone but there was nothing to replace it.
I worked with a Life Coach, she gave me assignments. Ever so gradually I started to do things again. I cleaned my house, then I began to redecorate. I took my dogs to a play group. I was functioning but my life had not done the instantaneous 180 I thought it would once I got rid of alcohol.
The process has been gradual, and at first the steps were so small that progress was hard to measure. At 3 months the change seemed miniscule. But now it seems huge and it was only achievable by a thousand miniscule steps.
Last night I got home from work, took the dogs on a 4 mile walk, had a healthy home made dinner, and spent 3 hours repairing the duvet my dog (bad dog) ripped. Every day is filled with wonderful, productive stuff, to the point that there is never enough time in the day. Spending an evening fixing a blanket might not sound particularly exciting to some (it wouldn't have appealed to me 8 months ago
) but it turns out a life filled with usefulness and purpose is so rewarding.
Weekends are now spent in the studio, filling commissions and creating art. My house is a home, my dogs are happy and well cared for. There are no bottles overflowing my kitchen and my patio is devoid of cigarette butts. The spare bedroom is a lovely guest room.
It takes time, patience and work, but life can be amazing again. Don't Give Up!