I needed the space of NC to get my head around the situation. And I journaled through that time. I look back and think, wow, I thought I was ready to move on, I thought I was healed, but geez, I needed that time. And still do, which is why I'm still taking my time and my divorce has been final for 4 months.
Looking back with the clarity of time changes things a lot. Getting away from the crazy: Huge.
I don't know if me leaving made him hit bottom. I hear that it might have. But I have moved on, and have no space in my life now for someone who lies and hurts me.