From where I sit, your relationship with this person is toxic. You talk about how wonderful this man is when he is sober (makes you feel safe, secure, like a Queen) as if it negates the physical and verbal abuse he has heaped on you. Do you love this man as he is TODAY, totally and completely, the abuse included? Because that is the only person he is willing to be.
There is no valid excuse for abuse. Nothing justifies it. An abuser will abuse because that is the way they know how to relate to others and get what they want.
I admire your daughter for speaking the truth to this man, however, considering that he has destroyed your things, verbally assaulted you and CHOKED you, I would urge caution. This man is drinking *again* and his behaviour cannot be trusted.
IMO, when we look to other to fulfill our need for happiness, we peg ourselves as the perfect victims for those who will happily prey on us. For me, happiness needs to come from within, not without.
Please seek some counselling from people who have experience with abuse. You're doing so well by having separated from him for 4 weeks. Perhaps you need to consider going No Contact to see the situation more clearly.