He's so different when he's not drinking, he's kind and considerate and makes me feel like a Queen.
Destiny, sweet woman... that's great. But that's not all he is. He is also the abusive man you've described. He's both, or all of that. It's a package deal. It would be great if we could cherrypick the traits we like in our alcoholics. And force them to become sober. But it doesn't work that way.
Please take care of yourself and your daughter.
And then ask yourself what this is that you're feeling. It took me 45 years to realize that I couldn't differentiate between love and pity. Between love and guilt.
Hugs to you.