Thanks again to all
Well, after a long period of soul-searching, I decided to call him. He is still drinking, and realizing that he can't do it alone, which is good. He is going to see a doctor and counselor a couple days a week. And thinking about antabuse, which sounds like a good piece of a larger plan. So, still one day at a time, though now that we have at least communicated, I feel a little more "whole" in my heart. Don't quite want to have hope yet, but am at least not feeling completely despairing.
So thank you again for sharing all of your thoughts and experiences. I am sure that I will be returning to this board many many times over.