Figuring out how I feel has been a major project, and I'm still trying to figure it out most days. I just added to my thread introducing my kitty, and TuffGirl posted that I sound happy. I really had to stop... uh, yeah, I do feel happy. Amazing!
Sitting with the feeling, as wiser folks than I here at SR tell me to, helps me take the time to figure out how I'm feeling. Usually, the big 'umbrella' feelings (angry, sad, happy) are easier to figure out, but the underlying (uneasy, content, calm...) ones are more challenging.
I think it's natural to be angry and hurt that some one you care for is being a jerk. If that's how you're feeling, then that's how you're feeling.