Originally Posted by
wanttobehealthy 
AH is on parole as part of a case waiting to go to trial. He rolled the car window up on my arm during an argument. I was angry that he had said he was going to go to rehab and on the day he was to go he said no. We had a heated argument and my arm wound up caught in the window. I called the police, they talked to us separately, arrested him, put a no contact order in place, the State is forcing it to go to a trial and his parole says in bold letters NO ALCOHOL USE.
He has been drinking again over the past week and I asked him if he was aware that he was violating parole and aware of how significant that was. I told him that if he or I are asked under oath about this fact, we will either have to lie or tell the truth, in which case he will go to jail.
My police report and petition to remove the no contact order both speak clearly about his alcoholism and the initial recommendation from the prosecutors office (in terms of a possible "plea deal") involves him going to rehab. I can't imagine that the court is not going to ask me pointedly about his drinking over these past weeks.
I told him last night that I was really confused about whether to call the police, knowing he was violating his probation. He looked at me icily cold and told me that he will go to jail if I do (I know that) and if that happens he will lose his job (as it is he was arrested at work and his job is hanging in the balance).
We have a mortgage, 2 young kids and my job is 90% likely to be cut next year due to budget cuts (I was told this a few months ago). We can't afford for him to be fired and that truly is my reason to not have him face the music for his choices.
Am I enabling (I guess I know that I am)? What should I be doing? It's not as black and white as I would like it to be... my kids lives will be impacted if he is fired (and will never get hired in his field again if he is fired for a reason like this)...
I don't know what to do... right now I am saying nothing but I don't know if that's the right thing to do.
Seems to me he's already broken the terms of his probation. I mean no contact means no contact and U still live together? I would worry less about the alcohol than about the fact both of you are definitely not doing the right thing for either of you.