Thanks Lexie, I needed to hear that. As much as my brain knows that it is the alcohol that puts itself first, it cuts my heart up. I want him to want to quit more than he wants me. It is just sad for him to think what it will take to get him to that point.
I guess I am just lost/confused about the "ready" to quit thing. While I understand that he will only be ready when HE is ready, we have been on this rollercoaster of "ready" for over a year now. This time, he's at least seeing a doctor regularly. Literally every other day, he changes between "I can do it on my own" to "I need to stop completely, I'm going to talk to my doc at my next appointment." He did ask his doc for a prescription for benzodiazapenes for withdrawl symptoms, but the doctor wouldn't give them to him...I guess that he didn't feel confident my BF could do it (or would do it) on his own.
I really don't know how much I am willing to put up with, but having no contact is honestly driving me crazy. I at least want some resolution in terms of our relationship, so I can close the door or keep it open, or whatever. I think if I don't hear from him in the next couple of days, I will probably end up calling him, just to see where we stand.
This is so hard, and I thank you for your words and kindness. So many people warned me about the perils of relationships with alcoholics, and from reading this board, I know how lucky I am to have been with a man who isn't abusive, and I have been fortunate not to live through the nightmares that so many others do. But it is equally heartbreaking for me to know that alcohol can come so firmly between me and the love of my life
