I think I need a better understanding of detachment. I will for my lifetime detach from his illness or at least trying to control it. I thought detachment was a way of dealing or coping with an A when you don't like or trust the behavior. Not punishment( ie cold shoulder), but to not react to whatever it is that you shouldn't react to.... like being baited into an argument. Lovingly detach... I care about what you are going through, but I am not going to deal with it.. thus handing it back over to the person. Since I don't trust the "kiss" as being genuine, I detach..which is not responding to it. If at some point I trust then I would not detach
Help... now I am more confused than ever.