I do not think you are dumb. at all.
We are here to support you.
PLease keep posting.
My A physically attacked me just once. I was unable to walk away.
Everyone here has tolerated and been unable to walk away from horrible treatment.
Please know that no one is chastising you, alot can get lost in text.
Its all loving concern.
I know you will continue pushing toward healing and safety.
I know thats why you are here.
Love to you and keep posting.