It IS hard to sit on your hands when nothing is clear. We want answers, and we want 'em NOW, dammit.
I totally get it. But sometimes it's like opening the oven door too soon when you have a delicate cake or souffle in the oven. You can mess with the process by not being patient.
Living with the chaos is something we KNOW. It may be unpleasant, but we know, at least, what's happening--even when it's bad. Living with the unknown is always more uncomfortable.
All I can say is, trust that your getting back in the middle of it isn't going to help him, nor will it help you. Trust the process, let it play out as it will. Eventually things will become clearer.