Other Women
I've been with AH for 8 years. Only in the last year has other women been an issue. As far as I know he's only had one sexual affair, the others were just woman he got to cook, clean, drive him around and buy him stuff. He always tells me EVERYTHING about them, even what got on his nerves about them. A part of me wishes he didn't tell me such things.
We went thru a really ugly incident last August, which resulted in me getting a restraining order, charges being filed and I gave up my house to my eldest daughter & moved clear across town with my youngest 2 kids (18 & 14yo). (He'd been living with his uncles for the last 2 years since I put him out of the house I'd bought prior to marriage. Even though we agreed to keep trying at our marriage, I knew he was still drinking and I didn't want him around the kids with his outbursts; he's a violent drunk. His uncles had enough of his mess, with the police looking for him and all, so he was homeless for about 2 months.) Well he hit bottom in Nov and had all his friends and family calling me asking to help him. I eventually broke down and got him into a detox program. After 30 days he came out and in my ignorance I thought that since he wasn't drinking, everything would be better now so I let him move in with me and the kids in my new apt. Well it only took about 2 months before that bubble bust. When I first became suspicious he was drinking again, everything I thought i'd forgiven and gotten attacked my mind like a flood and I found myself angry, bitter and resentful.
About 3 weeks ago we got into an argument over him calling my stepson for his birthday. He felt it was none of my business, I thought otherwise. It got out of control and the police had to be called to remove him from the apt after he bleached half my clothes, turned over all the TVs and pretty much wrecked my new place. My 14yo son had to take him down in one of his mixed martial arts holds. The good thing that came out of this was I found Al-Anon, my son Alateen and I've started reading about the disease of alcoholism and how I'd been contributing to his addiction and how the disease had made me kinda insane too.
I finally spoke to my husband for the first time yesterday. I knew he was drunk and have learned enough to know I can't have a decent conversation with him like that, so I hung up and told him I'd talk in the AM when he was sober. Well, I spoke to him today and he's been staying with some woman. He claims he hasn't touched her but he needed somewhere to stay this week. He'd been staying with his brothers (who have addictions too -- one steals, so he's not comfortable there) and some other friends. His parents passed away years ago from medical issues from their addictions Coming back home is not an option as I'm in recovery, trying to deal with my new found anger issues and he needs to go into recovery, which today (One Day At a Time) he's more than willing to do. I know it's technically not my responsibility where he's living, he created this situation so he has to deal with the consequences, as I've had to deal with the consequences of marrying an alcoholic, but I have feelings about my husband staying with some woman
Thanks for letting me vent but I just would like some advice on handling this. I don't have a sponsor yet and I don't have any friends or family to take to about this.