I don't have similar experiences to share on this (since I am not married or attached!). But this sounds familiar to me, based on what I have been learning here. Sometimes the spouse has a problem with the alcoholic who has quit drinking because of change in the relationship. (Change is scary and shakes up the dynamics of a relationship, and some people manage to think the relationship is "working" when alcoholism exists.) The alcoholic can also wake up to things too of course and wonder if they are in the right place.
I'm not in there that often, but there is a section for Friends Of on this site. I have seen good posts in there before by people who share what they have gone through because of alcohol in their lives. There might be something in there that speaks to you on this subject. There is also a Women's section (which I haven't been in since I am a man), and that topic might have come up in there too.