I agree with everything that has been said, but I saw something else in your post that jumped out at me. I think it's very unfair to expect your college aged son to be responsible for his siblings. They aren't HIS kids, they are yours and your husband's. You are at work, but your husband isn't. It's HIS responsibility to watch the kids if he is not working. It might be different if your husband actually had a job and your college-aged son was asked to help out. But for your husband to just put the burden on him because he wants to go hang out with his friends is BS, IMHO. I definitely agree that he should stay home until after you all have had dinner together. If he wants to go hang out with his groupies after that, then fine.