Fish, I just want to say that I respect and admire the courage it takes to hear all this and still stick around.
The initial knee jerk reaction ('Maybe it was like that for them. But my family/daughter/son/husband/wife is different!') is really, really tough to overcome. You don't want to believe that what happened to us can happen to your little girl, because you don't want her to hurt like that. And you don't want to be the cause of that kind of pain.
So early in your recovery, the fact that you're receptive at all is awesome and something to really be proud of.
I'm rooting for you, hon.