Amazing still how that connection never goes away for an addict. No matter what you've said along the way, you will always be in the back of her mind as a viable option should the need arise. Sad.
I applaud you for standing up against the call for what must feel like an eternity of having to do so. You are not immortal, you are human. Give yourself some leniency on the guilt, I say. Just saying no is hard enough.
Hugs to you!
Alice