I am going to venture into these troubled waters and hopefully I will be able to do so without calling names or insulting anyone. God help me.
We did an intervention with our son about 4-1/2 years ago. He was pissed to say the least but he went and he stayed the entire time. As was stated above, that was where I began to recognize my participation in the disease. And it was ex-addicts who taught me how best to deal with my son. It helped to save my entire family from getting pulled under by alcoholism and addiction. It was a wonderful place, with wonderful supportive and knowledgable counselors.
He stayed sober for four months. He still carries his four month coin with him. And he cherishes those four months sober.
When he relapsed, he asked to go to intensive outpatient. That is where he met his girlfriend and they relapsed together.
Four years later, after hitting what I thought was the bottom (moved from alcohol, to meth, to heroin). He asked to go to treatment again.
He relapsed within a week of getting out. Straightened out again. But he continues to struggle with addiction. It is heart breaking. I continue to hope and I know that the intervention, the treatment centers, AA, NA and all of things he has been exposed to have given him the tools to recover. But he has to use the tools--I can't use them for him and expect him to get well.
Now before you go bashing me or others in this forum, you might give consideration that we are people who love people who are cursed with the disease of alcoholism or addiction. We put up with a lot of spewed anger and resentment from these people we love. We slowly learn to turn the attention toward ourselves and try to be healthy people because we can't deal with the disease of addiction if we aren't healthy ourselves.
Please......be respectful and thoughtful in your responses.
gentle hugs