is that I have actually done the things I thought were right in life for the most part.
Yet the few things I have done that I thought were wrong haunt me everytime the spotlight is put on me..in an interview for example.
They don't by any means compare to the things my AH does on a daily basis to me or anyone else he takes hold of.
Yet, it seems the world sees him as a nice guy.
I sit here beating myself up like I am really a crappy person. I know I am not.
Someone said or I read, if people really knew me, they wouldn't like me.
I feel like I am afraid to look people in the eye because they might know the bad things I have done in life.
I am not bad. Yet, I find myself believing that. I find myself thinking maybe AH is right. I am not that great a person.
I am tired of being afraid of everything and every one. I am tired of feeling sorry for myself. I am tired of needing approval from someone else to be good enough. I AM TIRED.
I want to walk into a place and feel I am equal to. Alot of times I walk in believeing I am better than and walk out feeling less than. Both are wrong, yet here I am.