Forgive yourself and learn the lesson. If you grew up in chaos it looks normal to you. I ended up finally leaving my AH because for one thing I got tired of being used for car rides to the store when he would swear he was going to get steaks or something and come out with steaks and a case of beer. It took years but I finally let go. They lie when they know you know they are lying. The substance is what controls them. I heard here let go or be dragged.