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Old 08-03-2004, 12:22 PM
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Rose56
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Join Date: Feb 2002
Location: Raleigh, NC (Jersey Girl transplant)
Posts: 676
backsliding.........

Hi friends. I wouldn't be honest if I didn't post some of the feelings I have been having that I consider backsliding.

I am once again having lots of feelings about hubby not working. This issue just keeps circling around and round. My family on both sides gave me very strong messages about working. Pride in my family is not about how much money you make but how hard you are working. My grandmother worked very hard as a homemaker, scrubbing floors, washing walls, doing yardwork, etc. I could go on on on here, but you get the picture: your value is determined by how hard you work, how dependable you are, how much you contribute. So I over achieve in all these areas. But hubby has no such messages. You see if he was unemployed but working his but off at home, I could handle this better.

I am also having feelings about my daughter, who turned 18 yesterday, leaving for college in a couple of weeks. Both my children will be out of the house and it will be just hubby and me. I feel loss at this transition.

Sometimes I feel very alone, that no one is there to take care of me. SOmetimes I just need someone to notice that I am feeling down or overwelmed, or in need of reassurance. I know I should ask for what I need, but how do you ask someone to show you that you are cared for? Yes this is the problem: hubby is in his own alcoholic world, not available to me, daughter is separating from me and not tuned in to Mom like she used to be, son is on his own with his own interests. I feel like I have no family. My sister has big issues right now and has limited energy for me. My friends also have limited energey for me. I just don't have a good support system.
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