I'm expecting him to become accountable for his actions. I'm hoping that the threat of losing his license and having his sobriety supervised by a board of his peers will keep him sober long enough for him to deal with whatever's underneath it all. Force him into counseling and make him stick it out when it starts getting painful. But it might not.
And if he doesn't...I've spent the last two years actively trying to fix myself. And I'm finally getting somewhere, I finally feel almost stable. I'm not letting that go. If he doesn't, that will be the last time I see him/talk to him/have contact with him.
I'm concerned for his patients. For the few that he's actually seeing and not canceling. It's not right for them to be put into a dangerous situation, especially unknowingly. I would be furious if I were them. I wouldn't be able to live with myself if something were to happen to one of them, and I could have prevented it by reporting my dad.
I want my dad to get sober. I don't know that I think it can happen, though...I hope it will happen, but I'm not holding my breath.
Being accountable to me - or anyone else in the family - hasn't worked. The interventionist actually knows my dad. They went to the same AA meetings, back when dad was going. He wasn't surprised to get my call. And he knows how to help, where to get a sponsor that won't put up with bs, he'll randomly test to make sure he's not drinking.
It'll be a relief, actually, to have someone else to help. It just feels like I'm betraying him, and it sucks.
Thank you guys for making me slow down and think about this. I was fine when I was on the phone with the guy, I knew I was doing the right thing. I've just spent too long thinking about it and second guessing myself. I know that he needs help and he's not going to ask for it. If he doesn't take it, he's gonna die - soon, I'm guessing - and I have to walk away. And I will, because I'm not carrying this insanity with me to pass on to the next generation - but at least I'll know that I really did do everything I could to help him.
I'm just...tired. Thank you all for listening. It means a lot.