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Old 03-03-2011, 06:43 PM
  # 11 (permalink)  
dancingnow
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Join Date: Aug 2010
Posts: 342
Hi Alone22 - let me also say you are not alone, you will find a lot of support here.

Similar to you I am married to HFA over 20 years, 3 children, 17, 13 and 9 and up until 2 years ago SAHM for over 10 years.

Alanon has helped me so much with acceptance of what is and connecting with my HP.

Everyday I pray to my HP for a clear head and guidance. Before I got to this point it was chaos which resulted in me forcing AH out of the house. That made it financially best for me to go back to work. It was tough getting back into the workforce after all these years but I did it. Maintaining full-time work and caring for the kids with minimal help from AH is tough but the serenity I have found from Alanon, counseling, my higher power and meditation keeps me sane.

You are not helpless - think of all you have done and are doing - raising 3 kids with an AH for a "partner" is tough.

It helps me to remember regarding the alcoholism - "you didn't cause it, you can't control it and you can't cure it" . There is lots of other stuff you can do and getting to Alanon is a good thing.

Focus on yourself and what's best for you. Although I did go back to work, I found that what I get from Alanon, counseling, connection with my HP and meditation is what I truly need. With these I am better able to make decisions.
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