Heyimme...thank you! It seems we do share a lot in common. I hear ya when you said once you understood you were powerless over it, it was like a huge weight was lifted off your shoulders. Through therapy and understanding this, I too felt a lot better. For me that moment was about 4 or 5 months ago. During our counseling sessions that followed I thought he was finally getting what his drinking was doing to the family and our marriage. Things were better for a bit, but now as he continues to drink, I am back to feeling hopeless that this will ever really change. I too am choosing to stay in the relationship for much of the same reasons you stated. Now it is just figuring out how to be happy and enjoying what I can of life. How to detach but still stay married is what I struggle with. That is where this site and Al-anon will help (I hope). I think I have my boundries figured out, but that too could be a work in progress.
Good luck to you!