My father is a functioning alcoholic. He's 70. He never missed a day of work. He still drinks like a fish. I see him and think, well...maybe it doesn't have to progress...
But the truth is, I have a problem now. We all do. That's why we searched online and found this place.
My husband (click on my name and go to my first posts to see my similar story) is a love. He is smart and caring and thoughtful. He cooks and cleans and does fun stuff. He is handsome and funny and so in alignment with me in so many ways.
He has some depression issues. He is VERY private/secretive. He hides stuff when he think I will think less of him.
But he has a drinking problem. He has hidden it for years and he lies about it.
That doesn't work for me.
I have been separated for over a year.
At first I wanted him to come clean (so to speak) and just TALK to me about wtf was going on to have him hide and drink the way he did.
He never really could.
Eventually, I got desperate and told him he HAD to quit.
At the last minute, he said he would.
The sad part is, it is too late.
Number one, I don't believe him.
Number two, it's not about not drinking, it's about the attitude, the hiding and lying, the shame...the lack of dealing with life.
They say when someone is in recovery, you can see it from a mile away.
If you are questioning and doubting and self doubting and running around in desperate mental circles, he (and probably you) are not in recovery.
I am divorcing my loving, wonderful man because I deserve more.
And you do, too.
Hugs,
peace