Originally Posted by
JW123 
I have been gone from this forum for a while. Working on me. I admit I do keep slipping on occassion. I finally called it off with my XABH who I saw was just always disrespecting me and I called for no contact. He said he understood when he sent me an e-mail but said that he will always love me and that I will always hold a special place in his life. He is in recovery now (2 months) and says that he cant be in a relationship as he needs to focus on his getting healthy again. He said I must believe him when he says that he is really hurting too.
Ok question. WHY, if someone really loves you and you are that special to them could they not be interested in investing in a relationship. He says he just wanted something casual as there are no guarantee's in life and he can only take it one step at a time.
At risk of being told I am obsessing!!!! I just dont understand why he as a recovering addict could not want to MAKE IT WORK. Why say how much he loves me and I am so special?????
Translation please!
Okay but don't forget you asked!
Translation: I'm manipulating you and the situation so that when I'm bored, lonely, tired, angry or just feeling like I wanna piece (sorry to be graphic)...I can still say the 3 magic words and worm my way back to get what I want before falling off the planet again...til the next time I'm bored, lonely, tired.....
Remember ...he is an addict. A, NA, whatever... there is ALWAYS a part of manipulation in the mix.
I say...be thankful. Go to Alnon or talk to a therapist who specialized in addiction.... so you don't end up w/ another one. ...and you will, w/out therapy or other help you most definitely will.
Good luck!