I think that unless they were both in recovery
they'd literally 'nice' each other all the way to the ground.
Can you imagine?
"Honey, I brought you flowers."
"Oh, thank you, honey, I brought YOU flowers."
"Thank you, precious honey"
"No, thank YOU, my darling"
"No, thank YOU, my one and only"
"I thanked you first"
"Let's put yours in the big vase"
"Oh, no, I think YOURS should go in the BIG vase, I'll just put mine in this coffee can..."
Headlines next day -
"Couple found dead in home smiling with locked jaws"
Niced to Death With Flower Arrangements
...omg.
I know several couples in recovery.
The only consistent formula (around here to be seen)
Is they met in recovery.
They all had met all the criteria within the program
they all had considerable TIME in sobriety and recovery.
They ALL put their recovery first
and everything circles around that.
And not one of them
has less than eleven years.
That's the only 'formula' I can come up with.