PickMe

I've been holding this in since February 13th when my RABF told me that he is a recovering alcoholic. We have been dating for MONTHS and he just got around to telling me? Yeah, I am glad he had the courage to tell me this but he knew when we first got involved that 1. He is an alcoholic and 2. He is not supposed to get into a relationship...

So why wait MONTHS to tell me? I have been trying to see this from his point of view and I do still love him but really I am PISSED OFF. I met a man who is wonderful most of the time (present "space needed" time not included) and he has a lot of the wonderful characteristics as my dad. I finally met a man my dad would like...but he is too much like my dad in that he is an alcoholic just like my dad.

I'm going to Al-Anon and I am working through the steps and reading "Co-Dependent No More" while reading a daily reading from "Courage to Change" and a few other books that I have. I am doing the best I can to find my own sanity and maybe someday serenity, but I am PISSED.

My sponsor told me earlier today, when I told her I was feeling angry and couldn't identify why, to write a list of why I am angry. My list contained 9 things. Only one thing directly had to do with my RABF and one indirectly (I am mad about him being like my dad but mostly I am still mad at my dad). Only 9 things and yet I feel so much rage.

I know it is getting old to read my crazy posts but this helps me to get these feelings out.