yes, yes and YES! I have felt all those things. Do I need the chaos? When we create chaos we somehow feel like we have some control over the turmoil. Do I need to feel superior? I certainly make him feel less of a person with my disapproving scowl and comments. Am I sicker than he is? In some ways YES! I did not recognize all of this or see how I could change it until I started going to Al Anon. You cannot control his drinking. Don't be upset that you were "duped". You tried to do an impossible thing and expected it to work! So hard to stop trying to fix them.
