chicory, my son was a piece of cake. We thought we were great parents with excellent parenting skills, but it took him being willing and accepting. My daughter was a different story and it escalated when she hit puberty. Her personality was so different and I screwed up left and right. So much for my great parenting skills, huh?!
I had to learn to parent
myself with her, because she was an adult and she wasn't letting me parent her, anyway. Just like your son isn't letting you parent him.
I had to surround myself with role models, and that included my son. He wouldn't tolerate his sister's crap - anyone's crap - and take a guess where he learned self respect? His dad and I.
We all have hope and fear. I chose to replace my fear with hope and prayer
