I remember feeling that way, while still married to XAH. It was literally mourning the dream, and coming to the awful realization that I never did have a supportive partner and loving father for our child. I was almost solo parenting but with the added bonus of an extra demanding child in a grown man's body.
Eventually I came to the realization that I could make a wonderful life for myself and for my daughter, without that "perfect partner" I imagined I had.