I have been feeling.........I don't know.........down, I guess. It has been such a relief to have XAH gone. He didn't bring up the meet and greet with the new GF again, so I dodged that bullet. When he came by to see the kids this weekend he looked terrible. He only stayed for about an hour, and of course, the kids cried when he was leaving and he gave me the "see what YOU have done" quacking. Ugg. I just tried to make the rest of the day special for the girls-doing fun things and just being together. Guess I will keep having "fun" days after dad leaves from visiting.
Someone mention the song "Fix You" by Coldplay on another thread recently. I took a listen (wish I wouldn't have) but the line that got me was "when you've lost something that you can't replace"....man, I think about that and the tears just start coming. I don't think that it's me missing him so much as the grief of not having a loving and stable partner for myself or the same in a dad for my girls. I guess I have never had this........he was really never either. But now thinking about it, even never having had it, I feel like I have lost that in my life! It's completely depressing and I am not sure how to deal with the emotions that are creeping up. Have any of you felt this? Again, I really don't feel like I have lost HIM, but lost what was supposed to have been.........I hope when I re read this that it makes some bit of sense.
Mel