I love it when a thread starts about the alcoholic and the focus gets turned back on the codie. Sherry1, it took me months to wrap my head around focusing on myself, and I really resisted for a while. I still struggle with it. But I quit asking the "why's" because I won't understand why. Ever. I am not an alcoholic. My mind works differently (and by that I am not saying better - just different). My attitudes are vastly different. And I have a program for myself that I work everyday. Keep trying to focus on you. Let your alcoholic go be their own grown-up. Let go and Let God. That's what the catch-phrase means. Keep trying, knowing each day will be a challenge until it starts to become second nature.
Take good care!
~T