Making sense of it all?!?
I have a question......
Once you remove yourself from the toxic people, how do you ever trust again?
My whole life I've been told "If you love me you'll trust me."
Either by my GA father of my current AH. And at the same time your told to not belive what you see with your own eyes!
(my father) " No I didn't just sign your name to a legal document.
No I didn't spend all of your college money, while telling you it was being paid.. leaving you to waste 2 yrs of your life for college credits you'll never recive"
No I didn't just sell your belongings out from under you! You must have misplace them."
(my ah) "I'm not drinking again."
"I didn't just spend all the money on beer. I bought your medication didn't I?"
And then if you speak up about it,,they use any number of tactics to get you to drop it, because in the end you know you'll never win.
My father has the rest of my family convinced I'm crazy, and that he was afraid of me.
And whenevr. I talk about real issues with my AH he tells his family that I'm putting a strain on our relationship!
I think I've gone off on a rant...sorry,
my point is, when I've been told or coersed into believing everything I have ever felt or thought is wrong..even bad...how do I come out from under that?
I used to think if I could just find proof/ hard evidence/ than it would all end, yet even in the face of concrete evidence, they still deny deny until the day they die.
Well, thank you for letting me vent. I obviously have much work to do today. Now that I'm waking up to all of this, I guess I will just try to tackle each new thought as it sufaces. One thought at a time, One day at a time. Right?