:ghug3
The best thing I did with XAH was go no contact. No emails, no phone calls nothing (I changed everything and he doesn't know my new address either). I literally went into hiding. It was a bit more complicated with me - XAH was also abusive (and it sounds like your ex is too!) so detaching etc just made him escalate his abuse. If this sounds like your ex, then please read the stickies at the top of the forum about abusive partners.
You will get through this. You can get better. Hang in there!