This reminds me of parents who tell their kids "if you don't stop hitting your sister - you're not going to Disney World with us". They have no intention of following through with that threat. And that is exactly what it is - a threat. They know it and the kids know it too. If you make an ultimatum - you have to be willing to follow through with the consequences. Bounderies are broken all the time. They get over-stepped little by little until you don't even remember what they are. My humble opinion is that an ultimatum means "if you cross that line, it means that you are willingly accepting the consequences".