DesertEyes

Hello wonderingincda, and pleased to "meet" you

I'm a guy, as well as an "alanoid", and ACoA and an AA, so I think I fit your requirements <joke>

What do I think about his attitude? I think that he's old enough to make his own decisions in life, and old enough to get help from a therapist or his sponsor if he should determine that the attitude is detrimental.

However, I am not sure what you are asking. Suppose you were to establish that his attitude is detrimental to _him_, what would you do then? And if you determine it is not detrimental, what then?

You are asking for information, but you don't seem to have a direction as to what you are going to do with the information once you get your answers.

So let me try this; is his attitude detrimental to _you_? Where are _your_ needs being met in this relationship? Suppose his attitude _never_ changes, could you spend the rest of your life with a guy who occasionally get super involved with women he meets online, misses loan payments rather than carefuly plan for trips, and takes off on a whim to go live somewhere else?

My ex-wife was exactly that way. She'd meet guys online, get obsessed with them for awhile to the point of losing a job, come up with excuses and lies to go meet them, etc. etc. My personal opinion is that it's just another form of addiction. My ex is a pill addict, so being "cross addicted" to the thrill and fantasy of distant relationships is not that big a change.

I am not interested in polygamous relationships. I need the safety and trust of there being only two of us in a relationship, which is one of the reasons I left my ex.

How about you?

Mike