Changing is hard for others?!
Well, I had my first experience with push back on redefining boundaries...only not with my A...with my family. I have a lousy relationship with my sister. As I work on Step 4, I am amazed at how responsibility I have taken that really belongs to her. She's the baby, and my parents treat her as such - even though she is in her mid 30's! (Can anyone say enablers?!) No wonder I have resentment toward her. I feel used and taken advantage of!
I have come to the realization that I have also been guilty of this - doing things for her that she is perfectly capable of doing for herself. Last night I stopped that and set a firm boundary with my Mother to stop volunteering me - for anything, mainly as a babysitter to her kids - even though what was volunteered was being perceived to be a crisis. She has a husband and can manage herself, I am not needed in this whatsoever. My Mom got very upset. I stated, "I know she is your daughter and I respect how that feels as a Mother myself, but I will no longer be available to participate in her drama, no matter how much of an "emergency" you both may perceive it to be". Wow - that didn't go over well at all for Mom. She's still po'd this morning. I don't care, and that feels great for me.
Am I to expect the same push back with others as I redefine boundaries and let go of a lot of my codie stuff?
This is my first run-in (that wasn't with or about my A) and although I feel good about it, I am still bothered by the drama is created on my end, and a little po'd right back at my Mom.