I never lost respect for her, and she never gave up trying to find sobriety. I respected that about her, and still do.
See, I think this is absolute key.
Love, like you say, isn't enough. If you don't have respect, and
mutual respect, "love" means jack sh**.
I don't expect anyone here to feel a need to defend their choices -- and I think it's clear to anyone who has read your posts, Cyrano, that you are not really a pushover who took her back because you were so damn codependent you couldn't do anything else.
You've got your stuff together, and it sounds like you have a good relationship, warts and all, and that you're both very much aware of what you have and what you almost lost. I think that's a great place to be.