Chicory, please. No one says you are whining. We understand. Really, we do. Many of us have been right where you are. But, again, if something doesn't change, then nothing changes. We don't want you to not post. How can we try to help you if you don't post? We want to help you. We know how it feels to love our children. We love ours every bit as much as you love yours.
As long as you pity him, he will never stand up for himself because as long as you pity him, you won't let him go. You have to let him go if he is going to have a chance at getting himself straightened out. I know how backward that sounds, but it's the honest truth.