I love your candour and I can’t be the only one who takes hope from hearing that if we both can find recovery, then marriage/partnership can resume or continue.
My wife is not in recovery, I have walked out the door, she is one careless car ride away from jail, and I try not to think ahead except to look after me and the girls. My best fantasy would be that we could all be together in n years time, and I think it would be years not months.
My 16 yr old will need to find her own route to recovery (gentle guidance provided of course) she has withdrawn all love from her mother and has a long, long journey.
Cyanoak your story above and one of your early posts about relapse in yourself remind me of the yin/yang of loving an addict and whether or not they are in recovery. At various meetings and the aftercare group I go to, I often find myself envious of those who have spouse/partner/child in recovery. I feel bad because I am at the same time, of course, happy for them as well as envious. The one bit I don’t envy is that even in recovery themselves, there is still the chance they spend some of the day thinking is this the day it all goes wrong (the misspelt text, late home etc.)
It’s about the only plus of knowing your A is out raising hell and you sole concern is your own peace and that of your kids.
Thanks for your post!