My wife moved out 6 weeks ago, and I miss her. This whole thing is difficult and sad. And yes, I love her. She's just about the sweetest thing on the planet earth when she's sober.
She was 2 yrs 3 mos in recovery up until this past October when she fell off the wagon and all hell broke loose. The worst and most bizzaire behavior yet, including indescretions with other men for the first time, which broke my heart. Now that we are apart, most of my friends, family, and co-workers are saying, "I'm surprised it took this long!"
But there are always the good times, the intimacy, the companionship, and this is what I am mourning right now. My emotions are on edge. And she wants to come back . . . but since she's drinking, that is just not going to happen.
And she has loved me, having dealt with my daily pot smoking for the majority of our relationship, something I now deeply regret. Worst of all, I started smoking pot in the middle of her recovery, and that was really stupid. I'm 9 days into my own sobriety from weed.
I am grateful for the separation and the peace and quiet. I'm also grateful that I am not enabling her drinking, because she is a 41 year old woman with cirrhosis who almost died before, and I just don't want to go down that road again. Lord help us both.
So I guess I'm conflicted, either way, Cyranoak, thank you for your post. It resonates with me. There are 2 sides to every story, that's for sure.