[QUOTE=chicory;2876166]I feel I am being held responsible for "keeping" my son here, in some peoples opinions. Reflecting on that yesterday, I have to say my son is equally responsible for being here, and actually, he is USING me more easily than he could anyone else, cause I am his mom and love him.
So, I do not agree that I am keeping him here, tho I am letting him stay here. my love for my son keeps me in this situation, but it is hurting him, which I have totally accepted. and must act on.
Well..he IS using you, but YOU are letting him..that's what enabling is..addict/alcoholics get their needs met..bottom line. He has burned through everyone else.
Also you say it is natural to panic when a crisis arises with our addicted children..I used to react to everything and lived from crisis to crisis with my daughter..then one day she was having a self induced "crisis" (actually a consequence of her addiction) and I just thought.."This isn't my problem"I cannot tell you the freedom I got out of not reacting, running in to save her, etc.Those consequences..the PAIN is what spurred her to get help..oh it wasn't right away, but when she was left holding the bag time after time..she got sick and tired.