Originally Posted by
jerseytomato 
I can totally relate Trish. I was waiting for "God" to remove my desire to drink and it wasn't happening. I would go to AA and get blasted for not attending enough meetings, not being spiritual enough etc. That just fed into my low self-esteem and made me want a drink to ease the uncomfortable feelings.
I can't tell you how many meetings sounded like a lecture about how you can't get sober unless you find God. It worked me up and made me so angry. I made the decision to drink so I can make the decision not to. I am powerless over the weather, the traffic, other people's actions and many other things, but I am not powerless over driving to the liquor store, buying liquor and putting it in my body.
I too am glad that it works for others but that is why there is chocolate and vanilla.
WOW! I totally relate! I always felt like I was never doing enough...not enough meetings, not enough phone calls to people in the program, not enough putting sobriety first even though exercise, work and nutrition are all important parts of my sobriety.
I actually think that my drinking patterns changed and became destructive after I started attending AA. And my self-esteem went in the toilet. This is a great group of open-minded folks who support whatever works for supporting sobriety and a new way of life without booze.